Farting and Eating Pie

Do you ever sit around and eat pie while farting? Well, that’s exactly what I was doing earlier today. I had a nice apple pie spread before me in all its gooey goodness. Only part of it was left so I ate it right out of the tin. And while I was eating it I would lean and lift up one cheek or the other and fart.

Now that I mention it though, earlier today I also ate some thick-cut kettle-cooked jalapeno-flavored chips, and from time to time I’m having an extra little rumbly in my lower tummy, which means I might be heading toward diarrhea.

It’s a good thing I bought more toilet paper today because I used up the last of what I had before last night. It’s a decent kind too, with soft ridges that really dig in there to help wipe away the poo, but if you have to wipe too many times in one day you tend to get sore. You know how it is.

I guess I’ll just keep drinking my strawberry watermelon flavored water and watch some YouTube. Or maybe some Max. Something like that.